


He Said What?

by bellagerantalii



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Explicit Language, Sexist Language, What Would Captain America Say?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-26
Updated: 2015-04-26
Packaged: 2018-03-25 23:00:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3828160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bellagerantalii/pseuds/bellagerantalii
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There are three people in the world who have zero patience for your attitude about the Black Widow.</p>
            </blockquote>





	He Said What?

**Author's Note:**

> So I wrote this after the whole Evans & Renner interview fiasco.

I. Clint

“Excuse me?” says Clint, rounding on mercenary who, unfortunately, he forgot to gag.

“You heard what I said, or has your whore girlfriend managed to pull the wool over your eyes as well?” the merc says, sneering as he tugs at his restraints. 

“First of all, she’s not my girlfriend. We both know she’s too good for me. Second, if I ever hear you say that word again, you’re gonna wish you hadn’t.”

The mercenary smirks. He says the word again.

 

“Barton, your objective was to neutralize the target and bring him in for questioning. I _do not_ recall telling you to break his jaw.”

Director Fury is not happy.

“Why the hell did you feel the need to injure him after he was ready for evacuation?”

“He called my partner a whore, sir,” Clint says simply.

Fury spreads his hands over his desk and gives Clint a look that probably means he’s about to berate him for being a dumbass.

“Romanov can take care of herself Barton. Get your stupid ass out of my office.” 

*****

II. Steve

“Where did you get this intel?” 

The question comes from a former East German intelligence officer whose name has come up rather often in the files Natasha’s gotten for Steve. 

“That’s for me to know. Now, what can you tell me about the Winter Soldier?”

The officer laughs.

“Boy, if you knew anything about me, you would know that I know nothing about the Winter Soldier.”

“My informant says differently.”

“Who, the Soviet’s Red Whore? That slut is-“

“I’d appreciate it if you didn’t talk about my friend that way,” Steve says, almost unconsciously fixing his Captain-America-Is-Disappointed-In-You look upon the man. 

It doesn’t work. It makes him feel a lot better about threatening the guy, though. 

******

III. Bucky

Bucky thinks he could get used to this. He can get used to going for runs after he wakes up way too early. He can get used to sliding almost soundlessly out of bed so as not to wake Nat, even though he knows she can tell when he gets up. He can get used to listening to loud, aggressive music as he runs all over town. He could even enjoy it.

He’s not running from his past. Just the nightmares.

He can also get used to picking up his and Nat’s morning coffee from the café on the corner.

“The usual, Marie,” he says when he gets to the front of the line, and the smiling barista starts whipping up his one-cappuccino-and-one-latte-with-extra-espresso. 

“Did you see these photos?” comes the voice of pimply civil servant who unfortunately frequents the place.

“Yeah. That ‘Scarlet Witch’ bitch doesn’t show much skin, does she? That Black Widow, though…” says his companion. 

Bucky concentrates on fishing the correct amount of change out of his wallet.

“She looks like she’d be up for anything,”

Marie has finished the cappuccino and has started on the latte. Of all the days for her assistant manager to get sick…

“God just look at how much she took. Bet she’s an absolute slut for punishment like that.”

“You know,” says Bucky, unable to control himself any longer, and the memory of Natasha coming home the other night bruised and battered fresh in his mind, “The woman you’re talking about _is_ fighting off an invading super alien in those pictures, and saving your ass.”

The men look at him blankly.

“She deserves your respect, not whatever you’re fantasizing about,” says Bucky, his voice low and dangerous as he hands money over to Marie and takes the drinks in return. 

“We, we do respect her, we can—“

“Between the two of them, the Black Widow and the Scarlet Witch could flatten the rest of that Avengers, and all you can talk about is how much skin they show.”

“But, but we—“

“Hello honey,” says someone from the doorway. It’s Natasha, dressed impeccably and the wearing kind of smile that means she’s about to have fun successfully completing a mission.

“Is my boyfriend bothering you guys?” she asks, striding over to where Bucky and the two men are standing. She wraps her right arm through Bucky’s left, and holds tight.

“Uhh, uhh..” says the pimply one, looking frantically back and forth between the glossy photos of the magazine and the in-the-flesh Natasha Romanov. 

Natasha looks down at the magazine, then slightly lower at the very, very small tent in the man’s too-big pants.

She raises her eyebrows, smirks so that the pimply civil servant goes beet red, and then gently guides her still-fuming boyfriend out onto the street.


End file.
